Archive for January, 2008

regrets

this is actually not a poem..this is a story that i would like to share to you..
 

“Les, listen to me. I love you. I always have since I knew you,” Alvin calmly told Leslie this after months of not talking to her.

“After you ignored me for more than 13 months, now you’re telling me this? You’re kidding, right?” Leslie answered in annoyance and disbelief.

“No, I’m not. I thought you were just nothing to me. I thought I could just forget you. But now, I find myself confessing to you.”

Alvin and Leslie were friends. However, they got into a fight and for more than 13 months, they ignored one another whenever they spot each other. They acted like they were strangers even though they knew each other too well. Both acted like this for the same reason. Alvin thought Leslie was in love with another guy and Leslie too, thought Alvin was head over heels for another girl.

“It’s alright. You can stop fooling me now,” sighed Leslie. She thought that Alvin’s words were too good to be true.

 

“Can’t you see? I’m serious,” insisted Alvin.

“How about Karen? How about Jade?” said Leslie as she tried to recall the girls who she suspected as special in Alvin’s heart.

“And what about them? They’re nothing to me. Please, believe me. I swear I’m telling the truth.”

“If what you say is true, then it’s a little late, Al,” said Leslie as she turned away.

“Why? You don’t have a boyfriend, do you?” asked Alvin.

“No, I don’t. But Al, I’m dying,” was the reply of the teary-eyed Leslie.

“No, that can’t be. Les, this isn’t a funny joke,” murmured the worried-stricken Alvin as he looked straight in Leslie’s eyes.

“I wish I could just call this a joke. I have brain tumor. It was too late when I found out. The doctors say I could only survive for more or less 2 months,” Leslie said as she burst into tears.

“I’m sure we can find a way for this, Les,” said Alvin, gently wrapping Leslie around his arms.

From that day, Alvin and Leslie became inseparable, except during classes and at home, of course. Whenever they can, they spent time together. They smiled and laughed whenever they were with each other. However, as the days passed, Leslie’s condition grew worse. There was nothing the doctors could do, for it was too late. It would be vital to operate Leslie in her inferior condition.

Two months swiftly went by and it didn’t take long when Alvin found himself in the hospital, sitting beside Leslie’s bed. Uncontrollable tears flowed from his eyes as the clock noisily indicated the loss of time.

“Al, please don’t be sad when I’m gone. I’ll be watching you from above,” Leslie said, trying to reassure Alvin.

“Les, you’re not going anywhere. You’re staying by my side. Promise me you won’t go,” said Alvin as he gently squeezed Leslie’s hands.

“I can’t, Al. Let’s face it. I’m dying. And I’m glad that I spent my last remaining moments with you. You gave me reasons to be more than happy,” said Leslie as a smile etched on her pale, worn-out face.

“Les, I love you. This is my entire fault. If only I told you earlier that I’ve loved you since the start, you wouldn’t have suffered,” said he, declaring his defeat.

“Don’t blame yourself, Al. It’s not your fault. Please do show me a sincere smile,” Leslie whispered as she reached to touch Alvin’s cheek.

Alvin stretched his lips and managed to give Leslie a smile just before her heart had beat its last. Her hand which touched Alvin’s face rapidly fell and her head tilted. Her pulse was gone, heartbeat stopped and breathing ceased. All signs of life were gone. And on that fateful night, Leslie departed peacefully.

    Alvin stared at Leslie’s beautiful and pale face in silence. Silent and hasty tears ran down his cheeks. His warm hands squeezed hers, as if trying to transmit the warmth to her ice-cold body. On that crucial night, Alvin regretted everything. He regretted his ignorance and secretiveness of his feelings towards Leslie..

my classmates were able to read this..and they want a continuation to this story..i’ll just try to write one..^_^

 

my heart and mind say, “SORRY”..

i made a mistake i never thought i could make..i have no idea how on earth it happened..next time i knew, people were staring at me, as if i were a murderer..(well, of course, im NOT)..it happened so fast..now, im left alone, thinking of what happened..

well..do i still have to say that i know i didn’t act like a friend?..yes, i do..it’s my fault..you wouldn’t be angry at me right now if i stood to be a friend in the first place..but please, im asking you to listen to my side..i know you don’t want to, but here it goes..

i never wanted or desired to do that to you..NEVER..i thought it was just a nonsense joke so i didn’t intend on bothering you about it..i didn’t tell you because of a lot of reasons..first, yeah, because i thought it was just nonsense and you wouldn’t want to be bothered about it..second, because i was afraid you’d think wrongly of the situation, which would lead to a fight..well, i think i made the situation worse by not telling you, didn’t i?..i know it’s my fault..the blame is on me..but i do hope you understand some bits of my side..i don’t know what else to say..just wanna let you know, i don’t want to lose a friend like you..so please accept my apology..

i don’t know how you’re reacting as you’re reading this..but i hope that i made some facts clear..kpoy njud kaau cgeg hilak ui..hahayz..i never thought it could lead to this..

well..that’s all i want to say..i do hope you can read this..i’ve wasted a bucket of tears just because of this issue..hahayz..

 

emotions..

tuesday, Jan. 15, 2007..

i just stared at nothingness as our english teacher was bubbling about things i never paid attention to..rude much?..not really..she wasn’t really having a class discussion at that time..well, don’t ask me what sorts of things came out of her mouth ‘coz i wasn’t listening..

but anyway..while the ears of some of my classmates were tyring to listen to our english teacher while trying to keep their eyes open, i wrote stuff..just wanna put them here..i got nothing else to do kc..

"TEARS..can’t always express all you feel..but they’re the only things you can let out when u’re bursting inside.."

"Don’t be like a child and wish for things that are beyond reality..like casting an imperius curse on him and having him under ur control.."

"NEVER..NEVER..NEVER..EVER..NEVER..she’ll never treat u the way i do..

l

l

l

l

V

But u’ll never notice me either.."

"A year and a half of sitting in the same room..being in the same class..listening to the same teachers..laughing at the same jokes..doing the same activities..but we’re  still not friends..can you tell me WHY????"

uist..bawal mo-react!..hehe..joke kng..=p

heart or mind?

this question is oftenly asked to people..which would you choose, ur heart or ur mind?..hey, this is a tough question..not a single individual can live without its heart..and think what a person would be without a mind!..

if i were to choose, i’d rather have my heart bleeding and my mind functioning well than my heart in one piece and my mind spinning..okay, was that understood?..hehe..

no, seriously..if possible, i wouldn’t want to choose only one of them..we can’t live without a heart and a mind bya!..how could we call ourselves humans if we don’t have hearts OR minds??..we are superior than all of the other animals, and i think u know what makes us above them..we can love deeply and we can think vastly..

well, yun lng..hehe..

tc and God blz!..^_^

untitled

hey, guys!..

here’s just a little something i made out of boredom..

Tell me not to cry

And give me a reason why..

‘Coz it hurts so much

To live without your touch..

The pain is breaking my heart

It had been like this since the start..

How can I call you mine

When you give her all the signs?

Can’t you just see

That you’re everything to me?

Why do I suffer from this pain?

And act like I’m insane?

Why do you give me that stare?

Aren’t you being unfair?

You look at me with anger

But you behold her as a lover..

I know I’m just nothing to you

But why do you consider me as a foe?

I can feel my hot tears

That flow behind my fear..

Fear of losing him who doesn’t care..

Couldn’t we give it a chance and share

The love that wasn’t meant for me?

I ask you, can’t we ever be?

i know, i know..the poem is terrible..hey, no one forced you to read it!..hek3..

i know what others are thinking..’inspired ka noh?’..aq?..NOPE..just made this because i was bored..and this poem is specially not for a senior guy and above all, not for any 2nd years..it isnt dedicated to anyone..(yaw namo buot..hek3..)

gee, mao rto..

God blz, pipz!..^_^

This Is ME!..

for those of you who doesn’t know me, i am ur average teenage girl living in earth like all of u..the name’s Rezia..currently studying in a school wherein a lot of young minds are being molded for tomorrow–ANHS..specifically in STOHS, II-Darwin..^_^

i’ll be posting my blogs from now on..so, if u have time, u can read it and tell me what u think..

Happy New Year to all..^_^